Communicating With Parents: Making It Count

As teachers, we all know that one of the most important part of our jobs is to effectively communicate with parents. However, during my years in first grade I always dreaded parent-teacher conferences. It always seemed that when parents came to meet with me, they were not happy. It usually involved discussions of low grades or negative behaviors, both of which never make parents happy. I have found that most of the time parents were genuinely reaching out to me for advice and help, but there were also times when they showed up in my classroom ready to blame me. I always dreaded that. It made me defensive and nervous. I had to work hard at not becoming defensive and even angry. Below are some things I did to keep the lines of communication open between myself and my parents ongoing and positive.

1. Communicate Regularly - Sometimes parents can get angry at the teacher because they just don’t understand what’s going on with their child. They want to help but they have no idea how. That makes them feel helpless and desperate, which can lead to misunderstandings and a potential confrontation. I always made sure to communicate with all of my parents at least once a week. I always sent home a classroom newsletter detailing what we will be studying for the week, homework, upcoming events, and anything else my parents needed to know to help their child have a successful week.

2. Take Time to Listen - As teachers, we are used to doing all of the talking. However, remember that we cannot help parents hear what we have to say if we don’t take time to listen to what they are saying. Once we fully understand their concerns, then we can work with them to solve the issue they are addressing.

3. Watch Your Body Language - A smile and a hand shake can go a long way to start your meeting off on a good note. During the meeting, I positioned myself next to the parent rather than behind a desk or across from them at a table. By doing this, it communicates that we appreciate their efforts and contributions to their child’s education.

4. Be Specific - Before the parent-teacher conference, I always gathered my documentation. I gathered work samples, test grades, behavior charts, and anything else to help me communicate with the parent about what is going on with their child. Giving them something to visualize helps them understand your position. Once they understand the root of the problem, they are more likely to work with you to solve the problem.

5. Stay Calm - If the parent does become belligerent or unruly, remember to stay calm. Respond with empathy and understanding without compromising your position. You can say things like, “I’m sorry that happened” or “We can definitely work on that”. If the parent continues to be confrontational, don’t be afraid to calmly end the meeting. Sometimes it’s better to let parents calm down and then reschedule the meeting. If you feel the situation warrants it, you can always ask the principal or assistant principal to sit in the meeting with you.

Remember, in the end, all parents really want is to help their child. A lot of times, their anger is a result of not knowing how to do this. From my own experience, I know that communicating with parents takes practice. There were times I look back at my experiences with this and can’t believe how I handled it. But as time went on, and I gained more experience, I learned that if I do the things listed above, some of the parents that began as my worst critics often ended up my best advocates.

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